Monday, February 13, 2012

'RELATIONSHIPS PART II"

Ok, we got some really good comments about "Relationships" and how if your best friend developes a serious relationship with someone else it may be best to back off and allow that relationship to blossom, but, another felt that until that relationship is sealed with a ring and an "I do" then its still up for grabs.  Someone even said that they felt that all of them should still be able to be friends, as long as it was ok with both parties.  And that is all fine and well. 
Many people however, get into relationships because of a feeling, or because of the way someone may look.  Do they really count up the cost?  Many times, no.  So consequently, they end up attaching themselves to someone that is either not on the same level as they are, or that is not their spiritual equivalent.  Those relationship don't last very long because they are not able to manage the conflict in their relationship that will without a shadow of a doubt come, and they blame the other person, instead of looking at themselves and standing on what God's word says.  So, here is the question.  Again, it will be multi-facited.

In Jewish culture, as with many other cultures, it is a priority to date and eventually marry a partner that has been raised with the values and traditions of that culture.  Knowing this, does that even matter to you?  When looking for a person to possibly date, what attracts you to that person?  What characteristics/strengths do you look for in a person that makes you want to give your time and attention to them?  What types of relationship would are you more likely to get involed with or not get involved with?

1.  Interfaith (Different religions)
2.  Interracial (Differnt ethnic backgrounds)
3.  Intergerational (An older or younger person)
4.  Online (Someone you met online)
5.  Long Distance

Do you have a type and are you willing to step outside of that type and maybe go for personality instead of what your norm is?  What would your ultimate soulmate be like?

Now, tell me what you think.



9 comments:

Anonymous said...

First and foremost, I am not even considering going out with a man that is not a sold out man of God, or who is confused about the difference between God, Buddha, allah,and ashtarah. His race doesn't matter, but his commitment to God and me does. I would never date anyone more than three to five years older than myself because it just gets nasty after that. "eeyewah"

On a serious note a man needs to respect me and value my opinion. take his place as the head of household without being offensive, abusive or a dictator. Know his place in the home and operate in it. Allow me to operate in my God given gift without feeling threatened. **don't ever make me have to ask him for money** and finally, He must be the God man Not the God.
P.S. I am not talking to anyone online.

Vonnie G.

Christin Amena said...

I am excited about a new relationship but also cautious about a new relationship. I would like to get married, have children and have a wonderful fruitful life. Taking your time to develop is very important and often times requires you and the other party to really get to know eachother. Time must be spent, communication must continue and fruits must increase. The reigns may b tried and all sorts of challenges will come up. These times really show the true face of your mouths confession.
Making a solid decesion can not be based on emotions. I base my choices on the truth of Gods words and true facts. Its easy to say that you Love someone however Love is an action that requires dedication and commitment. Lay out all the cards, this is your life here your children your future ministry will always be with this indivdual that you have received forever. As far as friends I believe they should respect your new life ventures and understand that you are trying to find where you fit concerning this word called relationship. Unles there isan immediate danger or sense of urgency, support with prayer and open arms.

Unknown said...

Wow Amena, those are words of wisdom. I pray your new relationship works out, even beyond your wildest dreams. I hope this young man realizes the rose that he potentially will have, and the imense cultivation that will have to take place in order for his garden to increase, grow and bear much fruit.

Katrena Carr-Perou said...

Poem I wrote for my husband Peter (keep in mind that the name Peter means Rock)

THE ARTIST

Everything about you is how you are suppose to be,
God took his earthly clay and sculpted you for me.
From the gentle tone in your words,
to the gleam in your eyes
From the softness of your touch
To how you hold me at night.

He chiseled your mind and spirit to perfection
So they would catch my attention and win my affection
From the sense of your thoughts
to how you stimulate my mind
From the strength of your ideas
To how you plan your time

After he finished his work he smiled and took off his smock
With the look of satisfaction he decided to name you Rock
Why a name so plane because it means so much
For a rock is hard to break and smooth to touch

You have reminded me of how good of an "Artist" God can be.

Anonymous said...

I would like to have a man that loves God and his life is a reflection of Christ. He should have a sense of humor and have a caring heart. He should have good work ethics and enjoy life.
I don't think that long distance relationships, interfaith, or online dating works for me personally.
I think that it is important as a friend to support a friend that is in a relationship. Your friendship may change, but if your friend is a true friend, then they should remain your friend.

Unknown said...

Wow, that is an incredible poem. I love it. And I can tell that it came from the heart. I appreciate you sharing it with us.

Soni said...

lol Don't I know it!

Anonymous said...

Well heres my opinion about realationships. all too often I hear individuals speak of realationships in the following manner: look what so and so did for me look how they make me feel and me me me which leads me to believe that realationships are primarily about self gratification. Knowone ever says I wanna do everything in my power to make this person happy you know why because its not about them its about YOU. From personal experince I can tell you that in a realationship espcially in the generation we live in today nothing is ever enough. You can go out your way and tell someone you love them everyday and even put action behind your words but if they are not satisfied then its a wrap no chicken. EVERONE is selfish in my opinion and I can pull up statistics with astonishing numbers showing the number of failed realationships and the cause to proove it. Everyone wants to feel loved and say I love you but knowone is willing to put action behind your words. For all you Christians or Christian pretenders Doesnt the bible say Faith without works is dead. Thats like me sayin I really love to eat but never taking the time to learn how to cook you trackin. And you know what I say about that...... You must aint been hungry then in the first place meaning you didnt really want to work at that realationship, you just liked the way it made YOU feel for the moment.....

-Sigg-

Anonymous said...

First of all I would like to thank God for letting me be the youngest of four girls (it is them where I get bad examples on what not to look for in a man).When I date, I look at physical characteristics (such as height, physical build,(race is not an issue)eyes,do we have anything in common (because a man to me has to be able to talk to me on the level that I am on (education), social class (poor, middle,and upper class)he can be poor but is trying to move up. Religion, I am just starting and working on that part of my life (so I hope to find someone who has God in their life). Sex cannot be the only reason you are with the person, what happen if they have an accident and cannot perform anymore...what would keep you from leaving. I try to find out as much about the person....Trust goes along way with me ( I ask myself after dating him for awhile is this person someone I can trust around my nieces and nephews, Do I see myself marrying this man having kids and growing with this person, do we have the same goals, how do I feel when I with him....are some of the question I ask myself when I date...I would not date someone younger because I don't think I will find a someone on my level...nor I am attracted to them ( I feel like I am there mother and all they are looking for is a sugar mommy)older??? I did date someone 7yrs my senior online and long distance did not work. Would I ever try again...probably not to me evidentuately you will have to move to the same city if you plan on getting married (and that to me is the point of dating.